I just love the story these lyrics reveal.
By MJ

Wanna Be Startin' Something-

If You Cant Feed Your Baby (Yeah, Yeah)
Then Don't Have A Baby (Yeah, Yeah)
And Don't Think Maybe (Yeah, Yeah)
If You Can't Feed Your Baby (Yeah, Yeah)
You'll Be Always Tryin'
To Stop That Child From Cryin'
Hustlin', Stealin', Lyin'
Now Baby's Slowly Dyin'
---(This is one of my favorites. Basically, you think you are young enough to have a child, so you go on and have sex without a condom and come to find you cant handle a child on your own at such a young age. So you'll resort to anything just to get by, but in the end your child is already scarred: emotionally & physically.)


Tabloid Junkie-

It's slander
You say it's not a sword
But with your pen you torture men
You'd crucify the Lord
And you don't have to read it, read it
And you don't have to eat it, eat it
To buy it is to feed it, feed it
So why do we keep foolin' ourselves
--- (hes talkibng about the press and how they would make up anything for just a good story. & he is also saying that its our own fault for believeing it because we buy it. We feed ourselved the lies.)



SHOUT-

We're disconnected from love, we're disrespecting each other
Whatever happened to protecting each other
Poisoned your body and your soul for a minute of pleasure,
But the damage that you've done is gonna last forever.
---(here Michael is talking about aids. He is saying that it takes a minute for you to get infected and last a lifetime. It is really that much of a hassel to use protection people!)

I just love the story these lyrics reveal.
By MJ

Wanna Be Startin' Something-

If You Cant Feed Your Baby (Yeah, Yeah)
Then Don't Have A Baby (Yeah, Yeah)
And Don't Think Maybe (Yeah, Yeah)
If You Can't Feed Your Baby (Yeah, Yeah)
You'll Be Always Tryin'
To Stop That Child From Cryin'
Hustlin', Stealin', Lyin'
Now Baby's Slowly Dyin'
---(This is one of my favorites. Basically, you think you are young enough to have a child, so you go on and have sex without a condom and come to find you cant handle a child on your own at such a young age. So you'll resort to anything just to get by, but in the end your child is already scarred: emotionally & physically.)


Tabloid Junkie-

It's slander
You say it's not a sword
But with your pen you torture men
You'd crucify the Lord
And you don't have to read it, read it
And you don't have to eat it, eat it
To buy it is to feed it, feed it
So why do we keep foolin' ourselves
--- (hes talkibng about the press and how they would make up anything for just a good story. & he is also saying that its our own fault for believeing it because we buy it. We feed ourselved the lies.)



SHOUT-

We're disconnected from love, we're disrespecting each other
Whatever happened to protecting each other
Poisoned your body and your soul for a minute of pleasure,
But the damage that you've done is gonna last forever.
---(here Michael is talking about aids. He is saying that it takes a minute for you to get infected and last a lifetime. It is really that much of a hassel to use protection people!)

Sometimes I wonder how people can just throw themselves out there and still have the confidence to go back even after being rejected. I envy their encouragment of themselves. I know I shouldn't care, and I should just do what I feel, but its so hard for me. I do care what the outcome will be. I dwell and dwell on the outcome of my situation so much, that I become too afraid of the harsh possibilites, and end up staying silent. Starring doesnt help either. Why do I stare? Like its going to send some invisible message and they'll know without having to even communicate. Yes, ill be able to finally talk without talking, and feel without touching. Its so tedious the way I think these kinds of things actually work. But then again, Im really some where else dreaming and not sustained in reality. Why am I so afraid of doing what Ive been taught to do my whole life. This should be first nature to me. But maybe, its those people who make me this way. I just wait for people to open up to me and never once do I think about if the tables were turned, until now. Until now I've just let people bother me, and never think if I want to bother someone myself. & its that exact term I use because thats how I feel if Im pressuring myself to talk with someone who is just as silent as I would like to be. How do you get to know someone who is silent? How do you break that barrier? Or yet, do they even want that barrier to be broken?
Too many questions, too many fearful possibilites. But I have to change, even if I embarrass myself doing so, because I can't stand this ring-around-the-rosey anymore. (& we all fall down)

hmmmm..
I've done some research and I've realized that as you get older, the only people who are going to stick around in your life is your husband/wife and your family. Ok so I'm rationalizing a bit, but I can see it already happening now, with my friends. They separate themselves from the entire world with their boyfriends, and its come down to the point where if I am hanging out with them and their boyfriend, it's like I am invading their relationship. Why ask me to hang out if all you're going to do is be all over eachother. I don't know if I'm suppose to make this judgement, but to me that is rude. Invite a guest and then isolate them? I guess she feels that if she doesnt ask me to hang out, its even more of an insult.
There have been so many movies out that I have wanted to see. But since I'm single, my friends refuse to go with me. I'll ask but they "don't feel like it". But double dateing and a movie, its alright. They go without me. My two friends who have boyfriends. They go without me and dont even ask if I'd like to come because they know I'd be the odd one out. I feel like we can't have fun anymore because of me, because I'm alone and they're not. Is it my fault? I can't help it. Last year I had a boyfriend and it didn't work out. This is such a stupid topic and I've been trying to aviod it for a long time now. Its so cliche its irratating me. But it seems the more I aviod it, the worse the situation gets. I'm getting pressured from my friend AND her boyfriend for me to "be like them". First of all, what right does he have telling me to find someone. It gets me so angry that I can't talk about it. And second of all, "be like them?". A true friend to someone should learn to accept what they are not. Im not jealous of their relationship, trust me I'm not. But its like they want me to be. They want to feel powerful and superior to me, a weakling. They want to show off. And what do I have to show? Nothing.

This school year I am doing my senior project. This way I get it over with and out of the way. If you don't do it, or fail it, you can't graduate.

At first I decided my project was going to be a mural. It was going to execute the importance of children. And it would be displayed in an elementary school. (its appropriate surroundings) Visually, it would show and express a child's outlook on life. And essentially, how everyone should. I want teachers to walk by and be awe struck by my mural, read the quote beneath it, and have great pride in what they do, and realize that they are working with the real geniuses.

The minor problem is that drawing sketches is such a ways to an outstanding mural. I would have to put alot of work into it, which I am willing to do. But, I just don't want to and then all of a sudden realize that its just not for me. I have a vision, but to transfer it from my head for everyone to see is a real hard thing to do, a gift really. What if I don't have that gift?

PLAN B. A book of poetry. Sometimes when I read my poetry I think, "This needs to be published!". But I'm not sure how my mentor might approve of some of the poetry. (We have to have a mentor help us with our projects in order to reach all of the requirements.) And its not like all of my pieces consist of one theme and one theme only. Do I have enough to make a book? Are they good enough? I would have to read one of my favorites out loud and I HATE speeches. I have stage fright so bad. I get choked if I have to present something and then "TALK ABOUT IT". At least with a mural, art can speak for itself.

I'm just really confused. I don't want to be half way finished with my project and realize I should have chosen the other idea. I want to go full throttle with it. But most of all, I want it to stand out. I want it to be unique. And with all the doubt I receive from others, my confidence level is real low. When I told my dad what I wanted to do (the first idea about the mural).. he gave me this odd look, like "riiiiiiighht, whatever you say Stef."

So any opinions would be great. Artistically, any ideas would help.

Thanks.